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Umi Matsuzaki
' Umi Matsuzaki' (松崎海 Matsuzaki Umi, born February 5, 1947) is a member of the Japanese branches of the Nega Betty Bunch and The Anti Barney Bunch. She likes to have consensual sex with every male high school student who approaches her. Umi claims to be the "straightest high school girl in Yokohama", and has starred in several critically acclaimed hentais. She had various sex partners until May 1963, when she fell in love with Shun Kazama. While Umi now has a boyfriend, they still film hentais, but with just the two involved. Appearance In casual, she wears a lilac shirt with a pink coat and pink dress (if dressed at all). During school she wears a Japanese high school uniform that features a white shirt with dark blue trim, a dark blue skirt, a red ribbon (second year) Her hair is done in braided pigtails. History Childhood Umi was born in Yugawara, Kanagawa Prefecture on February 5, 1947 to Yuichiro Sawamura, the 'Straightest Man In Yokohama' who seduced many woman before being drafted into the Imperal Japanese Navy, and Ryoko Matsuzaki, who was a local foot fetishist. The couple had previously adopted infant Shun while Ryoko was pregnant with Umi, but there was no way they could give the child the heterosexual love and care he deserved; so he was given to Akio Kazama, who had recently lost a child of his own. The family's life was about to change when Lou Pickles, who at the time was a gay general during the Allied occupation of Japan, imposed new ways of life on the historically conformist Japanese people. Under his occupation, he enforced homosexual only marriage laws and discouraged heterosexual relationships. Umi's parents were up in arms about this and decided to raise their daughter to carry on their heterosexual ways. Yuichiro spent many days away at sea aboard a supply ship during the Korean War, and on the days when he came home he spent time with young Umi by constantly touching her prepubescent crotch. As Umi grew up she was taught to have sex with boys and she would practice by taking her daddy's 204-mm penis inside her mouth and pussy. Although Yuichiro never encouraged his daughter to openly demonstrate her heterosexuality, it was nevertheless openly demonstrated when Umi started going to elementary school. Between 1952 and 1953 roughly 169 reports of indecency were reported by teachers; in which Umi would use crayons as dildos or draw penises with them, give hand jobs to boys on the playground, and shove sand from a sandbox in her vagina. In one prolific incident, Umi sneaked into the boy's restroom and went inside the stall and when a male student (name undisclosed by school district) walked in, Umi dragged him inside, locked the door and had sex with him. While Yuichiro was away at sea he would get complaints from teachers demanding that he admit responsibility for Umi's behavior, but before any legal proceedings took place, on March 4, 1953 his ship struck an enemy mine (Possibly by North Korea) and he died in the explosion. The death of Umi's beloved father and mentor in heterosexuality struck her deeply, but at the same time it hardened her determination to carry on his legacy. Filmography *'The Splooge On The River Kawaii (1957)' During the construction of the Burma Railway in World War II, Umi plays a nearby village resident who sympathizes with the abuse and forced labor of Allied POW workers. She offers to sneak them out of the premises, under the condition that they have sex with her. This film was widely controversial and ignited complaints from the right and left over what they both perceived as "skewed perspectives of the events of Japanese occupation in Southeast Asia." In a 1958 interview, Umi expressed having no intentions of pushing an agenda, though she praised the overwhelming media attention. The Splooge On The River Kwai was banned in Australia and the United Kingdom. *'Sayonara Virginity (1957)' Umi reminisces about her sexual experiences with her father. Yuichiro was originally supposed to appear at the end but his death in 1953 significantly affected the production and screenplay. Sex scenes with Umi and her father were composed of older home video footage presented in the film as flashbacks. *'Cockfight At The O.K. Corral' (1958) In an attempt to cash in on the budding Western genre, Umi plays a cowgirl who has a yee-haw sexy time riding dicks. Filming was done in the Santa Susanna Pass in Simi Valley, California, which would ironically be a hot spot for the Betty Bunch's lesbian pornography industry in the 1970's. Cockfight At The O.K. Corral was not a success in Japan, but was highly successful overseas. *'Jailhouse Cock' (1958) Umi is placed in a juvenile reformatory for seducing and having sex with boys at school; but because the female section is full, the superiors have no choice but to put her in the male section. This was originally going to be Umi's first film, but was shelved in favor of The Splooge On The River Kwai. A scene where Umi gets fucked by male inmates in caused controversy. *'South Pacific Orgy' (1958) *'Vertigo Sex' (1958) *'Umi Matsuzaki Visits Ben-Hur' (1959) *'Dirty Pillow Talk' (1959) *'Fucking On The Beach' (1960) *'Orgy In Outer Space' (1960) *'Psychosexual' (1960) *'Ocean's 69' (1960) *'One Hundred And Eleven Penetrations' (1961) *'Lover Cum Back' (1961) *'Romance Of Yokohama' (1962) *'The Longest Day Of Sex' (1962) The Dictionary Of Heterosexuality In February 1961 Umi published what was to become her best selling book, The Dictionary Of Heterosexuality (Japanese: 異性愛者辞書 Hepburn: Iseiaisha jisho). Currently in its 11th edition, the DOH sold roughly 34 million copies when it was first published, and since then has been translated to Chinese, English, French, German, Hebrew, Italian and Korean languages, in hopes of Umi recruiting more members to the Nega Betty Bunch. It contains more than 369 sex acts and positions, and is available at 7 Eleven or Family Mart for a mere 6,900 yen. Powers And Abilities Much like her enemies in the Betty Bunch and Barney Bunch have gained homosexual powers, Umi's heterosexuality has gained her powers as well. She can subconsciously summon the other members of the Nega Betty Bunch in times of need, and although she lives in 1963, she can also time travel to the present to do battle with the other members. These abilities can also create time paradoxes. Umi claims that it is impossible for a lesbian to rape her and turn her lesbian as well, because her straightness cancels out the lesbian energy. See Also *Shun Kazama *Haruhi Suzumiya *Kagome Higurashi Category:Current Members of Both The Barney Bunch and The Anti Barney Bunch Category:Baby Boomers Category:Japanese Category:Heterosexual Category:Anime Characters Category:People who Bite when giving Blowjobs Category:1947 births